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The Secret Lives of Men: Ten Keys to Unlock the Mystery – James Hawes

May 19 @ 1:00 pm - 2:00 pm BST

James Hawes

Event Details


Men from all walks of life are entering therapy including professional footballers, cage fighters, nightclub owners, politicians, builders, CEOs, army veterans, doctors, teachers, mechanics, and religious ministers.

Men are often forced to lead and live secret lives, leaving many stuck in their heads. They carry a secret world of inner feelings which often contains hurt, sadness, fear, and shame. When these men have the courage to enter therapy, many take the risk of sharing these secrets out loud for the first time. If these secrets are handled with care and a non-judgmental attitude by the therapist, these men can move from a crippling life of silence, secrets, and emotional isolation to emotional and relational fitness.

Some men are left feeling confused when their partners struggle to accept their vulnerability and they may hear the negative refrains of, 'Man-up' or 'Grow a pair'. For men to move from their secret selves to being more emotionally open, then societal expectations will need to be challenged and changed. Men and women will need to agree to allow the other to break out of their stereotypical straitjackets and emotional restrictions that have been accepted and enforced by society.

About James Hawes


I am an experienced psychotherapist and counsellor, and an accredited and registered member of the British association for Counsellors and psychotherapists.

I presently work at the Nottingham High School as a Counsellor for two days a week. Previously, I worked as an Independence school counsellor for the Nottingham City behaviour support.

This team worked with the most difficult and challenging students in the city, and used innovative and therapeutic approaches in working effectively with this cohort. I have facilitated groups on anger, self-esteem, and confidence building using many methods that include drumming, mindfulness, and bodywork.

For the the past 15 years, I have developed my private practice, typically seeing between 10-15 clients a week and 95% of my clients are male.

I deliver several workshops and talks with regard to working with men and boys. These include '7 tips on working successfully with men in therapy', 'Effective anger management tools for working with men', and 'Working with men, intimacy, and shame'.

I specialise in developing boys' and men's emotional fitness using psycho-educational tools, de-shaming, and core conditions of the person Centred Approach.

I also initiated the Men@work voluntary organisation, working to increase boys' and men's emotional fitness, establishing a programme called Contact an outdoor and residential programme to help boys increase their emotional fitness. I also developed SHOUT - a successful anger awareness programme for men.

I have been part of Men's group for the past 15 years and am a father of two boys.

James Hawes

Synergy Counselling


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Synergy Counselling

Event Format


This event will be an interview conducted using a ZOOM video link that will be streamed to our live video page. You will be able to see and hear the conversation, as it is happening, and use the chat room to offer your own comments and questions.

Recordings are usually posted to the library the day after the live event.

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May 19
1:00 pm - 2:00 pm
Event Category: